Fear and doing it anyway

Today, I decided to let the world know about my plans. See, when the plans are only in your head, they don’t really exist. First, I informed my clients, then, I announced the existence of this blog on Facebook . It’s actually kinda scary, to expose yourself to the world. Really, I’d rather hide under a big rock (without snakes), than showing the vulnerable neurotic me with all my flaws and doubts. A huge lesson I’ve learned lately, is doing the opposite. Whenever you’re scared of doing something, and you would rather turn your back on it, just do the opposite. Face your fears and burn through it.

Preparing this trip is so much scarier than I thought it would be.

Will I be able to rent my house so I can go off trail-blazing? Will I be able to come back to my clients and will they hire me again as a teacher? Will I have enough money? Will I make it to Canada? Will I…

It feels so insecure, unstable, uncomfortable right now. In today’s yoga class I mentioned bringing the mind to the unshakable inner core. For me, this is my safe haven. There are so many thoughts in my mind, so many emotions racing through me, so many good reasons to give up this plan, and besides that there is so much research to be done and so much work outs to sweat out, it feels so overwhelming, I just can’t put my head around this. So much to do in so little time. When I spend a lot of time in my head thinking about what can go wrong, I go crazy.

Instead, I just sit down on my pillow, take a deep breath and relax for awhile. All is good.

Northbounders (or so called NoBo’s) are those who walk towards Canada, start hiking the Pacific Crest Trail  in the end of April or the beginning of May, so they arrive at the Canadian border before snow fall in the beginning of October. They cannot start earlier than the end of April, otherwise they will encounter the snow in the High Sierras. Taking this time window in consideration, leaves me practically with 1,5 months in which I have to prepare for everything.

Must. Sit. Back. On. Pillow. And. Breathe. Now.

I will take it step by step. And take you with me on my journey. You can read it all, here.

roadlesstraveled
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